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An appeal from a former Sovereign Grace Ministries pastor

Posted on 07 May 2012

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This is a hard article to write. I’m torn in several different directions, but compelled to bring focus in one way: people are hurting. Let that point be the fulcrum on which you balance what you’re about to read. Let’s begin with a story that succinctly makes the point I want to make here. The Savior said,

A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and he fell among robbers, who stripped him and beat him and departed, leaving him half dead.

Now by chance a priest was going down that road, and when he saw him he passed by on the other side.

So likewise a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. But a Samaritan, as he journeyed, came to where he was, and when he saw him, he had compassion. He went to him and bound up his wounds, pouring on oil and wine.

Then he set him on his own animal and brought him to an inn and took care of him. And the next day he took out two denarii and gave them to the innkeeper, saying, ‘Take care of him, and whatever more you spend, I will repay you when I come back.’

Which of these three, do you think, proved to be a neighbor to the man who fell among the robbers?” He said, “The one who showed him mercy.” And Jesus said to him, “You go, and do likewise.” – Luke 10:30-37 (ESV)

All in the family

In 2011 over one thousand pages of documentation were sent out to the greater body of Christ to blow the whistle on some things going on in Sovereign Grace Ministries (SGM). I’m not linking you to those documents or to any of the arguers on either side of the discussion. You can Google those things if you desire. They’re public and easily accessed.

It has been said the documents were leaked, but they weren’t. Brent Detwiler, a former Sovereign Grace Ministries “apostle,” sent them to current SGM pastors and from there the public conflagration began.[1]

Part of the main debate has been on the ethics of sending internal documents about a small ministry to the greater Christian public. That is a worthy discussion to have, but not at this time or in this article. There is a greater story here which needs to be discussed.

Also don’t over-read the Savior’s use of the word robbers as meaning SGM. That’s pushing the analogy too far. I’m not making an overt or even a backhanded opinion about Sovereign Grace Ministries. They are my brothers and sisters in the body of Christ and I love them. I have many wonderful friends in that movement.

The point of this story is the guy who is hurting and the one who helped the guy who is hurting. We can talk later about how to tell others about the hurting brother (or sister), what is right and wrong when it comes to familial laundry in a public world, and whatever else we want to discuss.

It saddens me this mess about Sovereign Grace Ministries is in the public domain as well as the gnat straining about public laundry. It also saddens me one of the main reasons it continues in the public domain is because the arguments have been mostly about the gnats and not the big fat camel in the room.

The big point which keeps getting marginalized is people have been hurt and they are still hurting. A man is down and the body of Christ is skirting around him, while fighting about the secondary issue of ethics. [2]

Band of Bloggers

Recently the band of bloggers warned us about participating in something we don’t know anything about. The Bloggers are the presumed gatekeepers for the Evangelical community–one of the implications by their reminding us of their blog traffic.[3]

To whom much blog traffic is given, much more responsibility should be required. Their stance, by their response or lack thereof, is to not speak to or care for the hurting, while telling you to keep out of the SGM affair. That should not be the role of popular good neighbors who have the capacity to steer hearts and minds, even in a cyber way.

Maybe you were not involved in what took place, but you are involved now. Maybe you were walking down the street minding your own business. I get that. Then there was a car wreck. You are now involved. You cannot ignore this while telling others to ignore it too. God’s fame is at stake here, as well as a lot of hurting people.[4]

It has been called a family squabble which is true, but the family is God’s family and we’re all in it. If these issues had not been ignored in the first place, they would have never been made public before the greater family of God. Making the same mistake a second time is not going to make things right.

Friendly fire

On April 22, 2004 Pat Tillman, a former NFL football player, was killed in the mountains of Afghanistan. Initially it was reported as a combat fatality, but later reports said it was friendly fire.

Though this was an Army matter, it was also a public American matter and, rightfully, many people from both sides spoke out. That’s normal and expected. If Pat was my son, I would want a public discussion, if only for the hope it does not happen to someone else’s son.

The proper response here is not to continue ignoring these issues in Sovereign Grace Ministries. That lesson should have been learned the first time these things were swept under the rug. I’m confused and dismayed when national pastoral leaders (shepherds) are more interested in public discretion than seeking to help hurting sheep.

As a pastor, when someone came to me with a story of pain and sorrow, my main response was not to tell them to keep quiet while ignoring their hurts. A pastor does not say, “This is a family matter and your family needs to deal with it.” If the family knew how to deal with it, the victims would never feel compelled to speak out in the first place.

The hurt and the angry

The main group of people in this story are the hurting and the angry. I understand them on two levels: (1) I was one of them; and (2) I help these types of people every week of my life.

There is no doubt many of the people in this group are sinning. You can spend 15 minutes on their sites and the anger and bitterness bleeds through like a stain under white paint.

Some of them have acknowledged and owned their personal sin. Good for them. That is right and biblical. Unfortunately, when most folks talk about these hurt sheep, it is the sheep’s sinful attitudes which seem to get the most publicity.

While there is definitely sin present, in this case it is not the main point. These people have been wounded and they are hurting. Every counselor who has ever counseled the hurting understands the temptation to sin back when sinned against. I’m not promoting allowance here, but understanding.

People who have been sinned against will be tempted to sin in return. Have you ever sinned back when you were sinned against? Okay, let’s move on. We’re all guilty – every one of us.

I never condone my sin and I don’t condone the sin of others, but I do understand why it happens. When people are hurting, more than likely they will respond sinfully. In such cases I listen to them. I’m more interested in the real story, the hurt, not the sin coming out of their mouths.

I want to help them. In time, after they have been heard, helped, and are on the road to being healed, you can begin to address their sinful reactions. If I rebuked them or marginalized them because they did not say it the way I wanted them to say it, I would never be able to help them.

One of the many wonderful things I learned while pastoring a SGM church was if someone comes to you imperfectly, you should have the grace to hear the critique more than the imperfect approach from the person who brought you the critique.

My friends, there is a critique being brought imperfectly to SGM, but the most important part of the critique is generally being marginalized or ignored. We’re being asked to ignore it, and the argument has instead focused on the methodology of how to bring critiques.

This is not the critique of one disgruntled former “apostle.” Consider this:

  • Over 100 pastors stepped up to the invitation to critique SGM ministries during the AoR involvement.
  • Seventy current pastors have expressed their concerns to SGM.
  • The worst of all are the sexual abuse victims who have been marginalized.

This is our family. This is friendly fire. We are the body of Christ. When part of the body is hurting, the whole body is hurting.

Continue to remember those in prison as if you were together with them in prison, and those who are mistreated as if you yourselves were suffering. – Hebrews 13:3 (NIV)

Then there is Brent

I’ve known Brent Detwiler for several years and consider him a friend. He is a good man who loves his Lord and his family. He also loves SGM. I think this is one of the things which gets missed in all of this: part of the hurt of the hurting is only because people like Brent love SGM.

If a person did not care about something, he would not react so strongly when it goes bad. A person responds viscerally when they care–even sinful responses can be indicators of affection for something.

The thing with Brent is he was one of the main architects of the ministry he is fighting against today – a conundrum to be sure. He helped create this culture-gone-awry and did not act for many years, even when people were being hurt and change seemed stymied.

While I understand his argument and agree with some of his assessments, he’s going to have to learn what many others have learned – SGM has the support of all the right people, his approach is not going to work, and it’s time to move on. Leave this to God. Sin will be found out.

If this ministry changes internally, God will have to do it. He and others have stated their cases. If half of what this large group of dissenters has said is true, it’s an abysmal testimony about a once shining luminary in the Evangelical community.[5]

Sovereign Grace Ministries

I was part of SGM for over five years. Four of those years I served as a pastor within the movement. I’m familiar with many of the players in this drama. Sadly, I have experienced some of the sins.

I’m not going to throw my few little sparks on this flame. There are enough accusations already out there. My two cents would continue to take us down the digression which keeps us from appropriately helping the hurting.

One of the harder things I have had to come to terms with is how some people in this ministry believe. You have to understand, SGM has been a sub-culture within Evangelicalism for thirty years.

Before their popularization through C. J. Mahaney’s books and the rise of Josh Harris, they had their own ingrown community. They were like the fundamentalists, who live in a closed community, while being strongly committed to their belief system.

When C. J. gave the reins of the mother church (Covenant Life in Gaithersburg, MD) to Josh Harris and hit the book writing and conference circuit, SGM went big time. As the lyrics about George Jefferson said, “We’re moving on up.”

I was sitting in a pre-conference meeting of the first Together for the Gospel (TG4) conference a few years ago, when Mark Dever addressed a private group of SGM pastors. He said one of the main reasons he wanted TG4 to exist was so we (SGM pastors) could spread our culture among the other people who would be attending TG4.

I humbly and smugly knew he was right. We had something the Christian world needed. We were a sub-culture about to go large. What I did not know was there was a ton of garbage about to rise to the surface, along with all of our goodness.

It’s like the politician who is not fully vetted. Only after his fifth campaign speech do we learn about the private laundry. And, true to form, his knee jerk response is to sweep the mess under the rug, regardless of the bodies which get swept along with the unmentionables that have come to light.

The cheer of the crowd is like perfume. You should smell it, but not drink it. – J. C. Watts

Many SGM leaders have willingly placed themselves in their hermetically sealed system. They have been there for so long they cannot see anything else. They are institutionalized, but now moving about in the larger Evangelical world.

We are a half-dozen years from the popularization of SGM and the stain which preexisted is quite public. My appeal to the Evangelical community is not to do what SGM has done for years–they ignored it.

  • Can we see this as God’s mercy to this ministry?
  • Can the larger-than-life leaders in the Evangelical community take a bold stand for those who have been hurt?
  • Can we make the main thing the main thing: Christ came for the hurting? This is the Gospel.

May the Gospel go forth, please

My hope and prayer is for people like Josh Harris, who resigned from the SGM board last year, to either build from within or start another group.

I don’t want some of the ideas of SGM to go away. I agree with Mark Dever. There is much to thank God about in this ministry. I pray God does not set them aside. It would be good if the Evangelical community received a refreshed Gospel-centered influence which has not been corrupted by the current SGM debacle.[6]

I also pray people like the Bloggers and other Evangelical elite will set aside the issues of how the laundry got out there and how we are to talk about dirty laundry–at least for now, and show practical compassion for their fellow brothers and sisters who have been undeniably hurt.

The main thing…for now

For the sake of Christ we have men, women, and children hurting. And the main discussion is stuck on important, but secondary and tertiary issues. We’re missing the main thing–people are hurting and the body of Christ should be making a B-line to them, to help them, even while they are sinning (Romans 5:8)[7]

photo credit: sbhland via photo pin cc

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Written by Rick Thomas

Rick Thomas

Rick has been training and counseling in the Upstate of South Carolina since 1997. After several years as a counselor and pastor he founded and launched his own training organization to assist Christians in a better understanding and practice of discipleship. Today his organization represents clients all over the world through his consulting, training, blogging, and coaching.

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  1. [1] Anybody who sends over 1000 controversial well-documented pages to several hundred people knows he is beginning a public war. ↩
  2. [2] The side issues are the ethics about publicly rebuking a brother in the Lord and a call for governance changes within Sovereign Grace Ministries. ↩
  3. [3] You can listen to the audio from the Bloggers at the TG4 conference where they mention the SGM debacle HERE. ↩
  4. [4] Though there are many complicated angles to the debacle, the fact people were and are hurting has never been denied. ↩
  5. [5] This is not meant to marginalize the dissenters. It is meant to draw attention to the voluminousness of the allegations–even if someone could prove half of them wrong, it would still be an abysmal testimony about this ministry. ↩
  6. [6] Maybe God is moving them aside. Maybe the Gospel has been lifted up and God has used SGM, in part, to hoist the Gospel flag and now it’s time for them to drift off in their hermetically sealed bubble.. ↩
  7. [7] These are my first public comments about SGM since leaving the ministry nearly four years ago. I have counseled dozens of current and former SGM people who have been struggling with various ministry related issues. I’m asking others to do the same. Let’s help the hurting. ↩
  8. [8] As of 10.15.12 five SGM churches have left this family of churches. ↩
  • 2tim224

    well, we have decided to leave, sad not mad, looking for what the Lord has next for us. still thanking God for you and counselling solutions!

  • Matt

    I’m not in SGM. I recently left the Calvary Chapel movement that I was a part of since my childhood (I am now in my thirties). This is almost a carbon copy of the problems within CC. From my experience in the CC movement and in ministry, I am 100 percent convinced that the main cause is unbiblical church government with a central authority “overseeing” (so to speak) other churches, a la SGM’s CJ Mahaney and Calvary Chapel’s Chuck Smith. To be fair, CC has it’s own issues with its church polity system, in which one man wields absolute power.

    But that side, it’s very obvious that being the central authority figure is really (and scarily) akin to a pope or arch-bishop. You become sort of “untouchable” and are elevated to a status that nobody should have. And your closest confidants and other pastors close to you, whom you endorse in the movement get the same treatment as well. CC has experienced this and people have tried to fight against it to no avail. It’s like trying to battle Rome. You can’t do it. Only God can.

    You hit the nail on the head with, “Many SGM leaders have willingly placed themselves in their hermetically sealed system. They have been there for so long they cannot see anything else. They are institutionalized, but now moving about in a larger world.”

    That statement is so true and I would add that the same can be said of the followers, who often become indoctrinated in a “system” (for lack of a better term). They come to revere these leaders to the point that questioning them is unthinkable and just short of blasphemy. Anyone who does so is immediately condemned or thought of as a “persecutor.” Anyways…thanks for the post.

  • Daniel Mayernik

    In response to footnote 5….I believe it is what CJ helpfully relayed to us. Google “the cross and criticism by Alfred Poirier”

  • Laura Thomas

    Thank you Rick for your response. I have been part of a SGM church for over 20 years. I can’t relate to some of the abuses of other churches I’ve heard about because I haven’t seen it or experienced it in my church. Our church has become less legalistic about home schooling and working moms over the years. They were never heavy-handed, but have become less “cookie cutter.” My pastor is very approachable and open. I have talked with both him and the associate pastor about some counseling issues and mistakes they have made. They were humble, apologetic, and compassionate. I see that my pastor is very open, honest and willing to change. I have no hesitation in bringing any issue to him. I’ve seen him change and grow and hear God’s correction to his ministry. What more could a church member ask from their pastor? That being said, I will talk with him more specifically about what I can do. I have been profoundly disturbed by what I have heard. And I TOTALLY AGREE WITH YOU – when relating to hurting people who are sinning, we need to see through their offensive demeanor to their hurt. You seem like a sensitive, kind person. I pray for God’s ample blessings on your ministry.

  • http://www.RickThomas.Net Rick Thomas

    Good question, Laura. Very good question. Thank you for asking. You’ve already covered the most important one–PRAY.

    It will depend on your pastor, how he thinks about what is going on, and what he wants to do about it/respond to it, etc. That will make the difference.

    With that in mind, the first thing to do is talk with him. There must be candid talk about these current affairs. I met with a SGM pastor last year and he did what several of the commenters here have done:

    1. He acknowledged the good.
    2. He acknowledged the bad–at least what he was aware of.

    If that is the case with your pastor, then you can talk and have constructive dialogue. With the convo with the aforementioned pastor he talked about changes he was going to make at his church.

    He wanted to change some of the heavy control that has been prevalent in many SGM churches. Ex. prior to, Bible studies were not allowed at this church unless the pastor was leading them. That has changed.

    There were a number of other things we talked about. He wanted to make some changes.

    If your pastor is willing to engage you about the good and the bad, then your input could be quite valuable. If he is willing to talk about the bad with you, then you can get some good ideas from him (or suggest good ideas to him) about how to practically help.

    While I don’t think you can do much extra-locally, you can be an agent of change in your church, working with your pastor, and others.

    One of the main things you can do is have candid convos with your local church to assess who the hurting are (if any) and then assess how you can help them. Thank you for caring. – rick

  • Laura

    This is a well-written post. I agree with many of Rick Thomas’s points. What puzzles me about this post, and many others, is a practical, how-to approach to what he is saying. WHAT SHOULD I, as a member of a Sovereign Grace church who was not directly affected by all the mess that has come to light, DO ABOUT IT? How do I help hurting people I don’t know? “Just” pray?

  • http://www.RickThomas.Net Rick Thomas

    Hey Jon,
    You have written one awesome comment. Thank you. I appreciate your balanced perspective. You love SGM and you see some wrongs, but probably most importantly you’re kind in your delivery. Quite nice. Thank you. I pray God will continue to give you the grace to respond well and to know what to do. – rick

  • Jon H.

    Thanks for writing, Rick. I appreciate these thoughts and this post and the heart behind it. I am a current sgmer (since the age of 2 – I’m almost 30 now). This has been a difficult period – and continues to be difficult and confusing. I can agree with others evaluations that there is good and bad in PDI/SG. Too often in the past, I have failed to see the bad, then and reacted sinfully when I have; not recognizing my own complacent or active participation in it. God has graciously revealed that (to some extent) and continues to work on me and help me grow in humility and practical love for others outside the church.

    I am praying that God would use this for good. Something very good can come from all of the ‘mess’. In a specific way, God can teach us that our hope and our lives shouldn’t be built on a church movement or any regular human(s). Our eyes should always be focused on Jesus Christ alone for all that we need, eternally and daily. I can’t gauge whether this is a broad response, but this redirection has been the response in my own heart.

  • http://www.RickThomas.Net Rick Thomas

    Thanks for writing, Mike. I would only add that the majority of the foils who have been hurt do not participate in those sites. Though those on the sites make the loudest noise and received the critique from AoR, they are not the majority.

    All of this is kinda like an old flame I used to date: it’s was complicated. And this mess is quite complicated on many levels.

  • Mikee

    This is an interesting post that I’ve been thinking about for several days. I read the whole AoR report as well. They also made the point that the extent of bitterness, unforgiveness and anger in the offended ones was like nothing they had ever seen and attributed it to the level of commitment these people had for the SGM movement. It’s an interesting situation that calls for a lot more love than is continuing to be demonstrated.

    On the angle of caring for the hurting, how do you distinguish the difference between people who were horribly sinned against, sinned against “normally” and those who just didn’t have their expectations of what SGM was fulfilled. These brothers and sisters by creating groups like “SGM Survivors” do nothing to help and only perpetuate the venomous atmosphere. This also came out in the AoR report as they explained that people affected by the situation almost universally refused to cooperate, seemed to dissuade others from cooperating and then insisted on their own terms for their cooperation.

    It seems like the triage of the people would help in terms of both the approach and the pace of the encouragement/admonition toward biblical reconciliation.

    On the disproportionate focus on disclosure/ethics I think that as you point out in a footnote, there is only one person who set out to create a public conflict and so it’s easy to focus in that rather than people who were blind to things they should have seen and have since repented of.

  • KatR

    I was in an abusive Christian group very much like SGM (what I’ve realized since leaving is that these groups all follow the same blueprint). I hope that Josh Harris and those like him do NOT start new groups. It would be refreshing for these folks to actually take seriously the damage they’ve caused and step away from leadership.

  • http://www.RickThomas.Net Rick Thomas

    You communicate well the balancing act here (1) Good things; (2) Bad things. I appreciate your desire to protect the hearts of those who have not been hurt, while trying to get help and to help those who have been hurt. Quite the chore. I understand. I will pray for you right now.

  • Jennifer C.

    Rick, thank you for this thoughtful piece. We are post-SGM, and currently in counseling. It is very difficult to describe to friends who are still a part of SGM how we feel and why we left. We actually DID have many positive experiences there, but the sum-total after 12 years was depression, anger, apathy towards Christ, and so many other things. But, I still love many dear people at my old churches (we went to 3 SGM churches) and I long to tell them everything. I don’t really know how or if I ever will. God knows my heart and how much I love Him. I am a new creation in Christ!

  • JS

    I have watched this all unfold as a bystander, having friends in SGM who have since left and are having to detox from this oppressive religious organization. You see, I was part of Brent’s first church in PA and went toe to toe with him about his legalistic views. Of course it wasn’t received. I hear he has recently really had a change of heart, that’s great to hear.
    I do however, have a great concern for someone who has kept copious, detailed records of CJ’s and others sins going back decades, I believe this is very unhealthy.
    How can there be healthy relationships in that kind of atmosphere of suspicion and keeping records of wrongs? It is warped IMHO. It needs to stop and time to move on.
    There is no redeeming this mess of a denomination, it needs to be torn down and allow the Lord to rebuild what He wants, putting band-aids on it won’t work.

  • http://www.RickThomas.Net Rick Thomas

    Thank you, Virginia. Glad you stopped by.

  • http://www.RickThomas.Net Rick Thomas

    My prayer too. Thank you!

  • http://www.RickThomas.Net Rick Thomas

    You’re welcome, Brian. My stuff is your stuff, so go ahead and use it. I would like to think it came from the Lord, so it ain’t really my stuff. Peace.

  • http://www.RickThomas.Net Rick Thomas

    You’re welcome, Allan. God bless.

  • http://www.RickThomas.Net Rick Thomas

    Hey Bob, that was good–”The Doctrine of Messy”–I think I’ll be using that. You’re right. Going through school there was no “DoM” class. I don’t mean that as a slap; it’s just the way it is. It is also why I do what I do. We do messy around here.

  • http://www.facebook.com/bob.blackburn Bob Blackburn

    As usual well written and well said. With all the talk over “who sinned” we should be discussing “Who is SERVING”…I am certain God will be glorified in the end…The middle, like life is messy…unfortunately messy is not fun ….I guess they don’t teach on messy at PC or Seminary?

  • Allanclare

    Thank you so much for this grace-filled and wise article. I hope and pray God uses it.

    ATC, Bristol, UK.

  • Neal

    As I continue to think about your article, I’m also reminded of Jesus’ disposition toward the hurting and injured – “a bruised reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not quench” (Mt. 12:20), or my paraphrase, “He will not kick you when you’re down.”

    I so much appreciate the heart you’ve shown in what you’ve written and pray it will prompt change in other hearts as well.

  • Neal

    Rick, thanks for your thoughtful analysis. Application of the Good Samaritan was right on – overlooking those who are hurting because we don’t want to love them as our neighbor. In fact, they’re closer than neighbors – they’re brothers and sisters.

  • http://www.RickThomas.Net Rick Thomas

    Hey Todd, thanks for reading. I appreciate that. I don’t take readers for granted. As to your question: I have no idea. I could only speculate and I won’t do that since I would be working from ignorance on such things. My prayer is God will do His thing, whatever that thing is.

    I do know this: He loves His children and He’s busy helping them. That is where I want to spend my time and energies. And I’m glad my little article is bringing a little light to a few. Thanks again for reading and for caring about the body of Christ. – rick

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=531136450 Todd Wilhelm

    Thanks for your article Rick, it is great. The thing that really befuddles me in all this mess is how the leaders – those in the T4G group, can either act as if nothing has happened or, worse, proclaim that CJ has done nothing to disqualify him for ministry. At the very least I would have expected these leaders should have asked CJ to remain in the background of the latest T4G conference. I now question the integrity of all the leaders of T4G and, with Carl Trueman, have some questions as to the validity of these mega-conferences and the resulting “super-saint” status of those who speak.

  • http://www.RickThomas.Net Rick Thomas

    Hey ITR, thanks for the caveat about not expecting an answer. I appreciate that and I also appreciate the sincerity in which you are asking your question.

    Your question is a can-of-worms for sure. The most honest answer is, I do not know. That is not a cop out, but honesty. I do not know. What I do know is the Father is making a serious adjustment to this ministry. It breaks my heart on one level, but I’m encouraged on another level because that tells me our God cares about C. J., that ministry, me, you, and many, many others.

    And that is important to me and I know it is to you too. I’m glad God cares enough to correct error. Shoot, He’s done it enough to me since my adoption and I’m glad He loves me enough to correct me.

    I hope this long nightmare will end soon and He does what He needs to do to make things right. Interestingly (and sadly), I had another couple come by my home today saying they were leaving their SGM church. My soul longs for God’s fame to be restored in this little part of His body.

    Thanks for reading and commenting. – rick

  • intercessor for true revival

    Excellent post.

    I am not expecting you to answer this, but I’ll ask anyway.

    It seems to me that CJ fits the definition of a false apostle as described by Paul. Not just flawed like everybody is flawed, but false. Deceitful, masquerading as something he is not, and responsible for a gospel full of legalism, and a whole system of men lording it over the flock.

    It seems this way to my pastor as well, who has had plenty of dealings with the local SGM. My husband agrees as well. And yeah we are former SGM who “left well”.

    Thoughts?

  • http://www.RickThomas.Net Rick Thomas

    Hey James,
    Thanks for asking. I appreciate your concern. I have not shared my story in the past four years and don’t plan to do that for several reasons:

    1. I’m just another brick in the wall. There are hundreds of stories circulating out there and the point of abuse has been well made. My two cents is just that–two cents.

    2. God has given me much grace and we have moved on, though I am vitally connected to many SGM members and have had the privilege of helping some of them through their hurts.

    3. I have no desire to draw attention to my story, but to help those who are hurting. I’ve said all I plan to say about such things, which has a singular point: to draw attention to many of my friends (and others) who are hurting.

    4. As you may know, there are many people who belong to SGM churches and are blessed by being part of this ministry. Two of those people commented below (Ann and Dave). They are my friends. I was their pastor once upon a time. It would not be kind of me to share my story and create a tension in their hearts which does not exist. I realize I am walking a tightrope even by writing in the first place, but as I said at the beginning of the piece,

    “This is a hard article to write. I’m torn in several different directions, but compelled in one big way. People are hurting. Let that point be the fulcrum on which you balance what you’re about to read.”

    5. Again, my main point has been and still is to help those who are hurting, which is why I wrote the piece.

    Mercifully, God has brought several folks to me through this article and the conversations have been redemptive. I have also had the privilege of helping approximately two dozen other folks over the past four year.

    I do appreciate you asking and I trust this helps. I’m grateful you read the article. – rick

  • http://www.RickThomas.Net Rick Thomas

    You’re welcome, Em.

  • Jamesbrown731931

    Rick, is it possible that you could share how YOU have been hurt? That could be quite helpful to

  • EmSoliDeoGloria

    Thank you for saying what so needs said. From a former member of an church torn apart…

  • http://www.RickThomas.Net Rick Thomas

    You’re welcome. Thank you for reading.

  • JennGrover

    Thanks for this thoughtful post.

  • http://www.RickThomas.Net Rick Thomas

    You’re welcome, Dave. I read, feel, appreciate, and live with the same tension you communicate in your response here. As stated in the piece, there is much to appreciate and some alarms.

    Interestingly I received two emails at the same time: (1) Your comment; (2) and this:

    “I read your recent SGM article this morning. It hit home. I am trying to recover from post-SGM syndrome. Any input would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.”

    The two emails communicate two truths, which is why I said in the beginning, “This is a hard article to write. I’m torn in several different directions…”

    I appreciate you being willing to read and listen. There has been some good fruit already from this piece. My concern was that it would stir up more anger and more digressive comments. That has not been the case at all.

    Some hurting people have “come out” and are getting help. For that I am glad. And I am glad you wrote and shared your affection for what God has done and is doing in your lives. That is very true too and it needs to be stated clearly.

    Keep loving your church, your pastor, and your friends. You and Melissa are a gift to your church and I’m glad we’re friends.

  • Dave Cooper

    Thanks for your response Rick. I guess what makes this whole thing confusing for members like me is that I don’t know anyone who has experienced the “darker side of this ministry,” and I’ve only had good experiences myself (the love and care we’ve personally received over the past year since our son was diagnoses with leukemia has been tremendous). We appreciated the care you’ve shown us too–I don’t think I’ll forget you coming to the hospital and praying with us when our daughter was born. Thanks for the word of encouragement on our pastor as well. We love him and our church and pray this mess will work out in a God glorifying way. May God continue to bless your ministry. No need to post this on the website….I just wanted to say thanks.

  • http://www.RickThomas.Net Rick Thomas

    Well said, Dave. Thanks for the encouragement too. I liked all you said, but really liked the last sentence. For me, I would insert my name: This is one of those golden opportunities for me to rise up and seize what the Father desires to do in me, which is to make a clearer picture of Christ.

    That is a good prayer for all of us. We can be controlled by the badness that comes to our lives, or we can be controlled by His goodness. I really do want the latter. Thanks for writing.

  • http://www.RickThomas.Net Rick Thomas

    I will pray the Father will make things clear to you sooner than later. You’re right: it must be grand. The Father does not waste pain and only He can use sin sinlessly. There is a bunch of both in this, which leads me to believe He’s got a lot of goodness in store for His children.

  • Dave Willis

    Rick,

    Thanks for your pastor/counselor heart, and for adding your voice to the conversation. You do us a service by speaking up for the brokenhearted and hurt and angry. They matter to Jesus and I’m glad they matter to you!

    It seems like there are a variety of experiences within SGM (as there would be in any large group of people). Many people have wonderful experiences and are well cared for. At times the authoritarian bent of some leaders, a lack of real accountability, or a tendency to exalt certain practices as more biblical than others, has led to a group of people having very difficult experiences within SGM. It isn’t an attack on SGM to talk about that frankly. It doesn’t negate the truth of the good experiences to be honest about the fact that other people have had bad experiences with leadership. It’s an act of love to speak the truth in love, and I know you care about Christ’s church. As you point out, the teaching for years has been, “Thank God for conflict, thank God for criticism”. And there is wonderful truth in that, as long as our identity is well rooted in Christ’s perfections and not that of an organization or our own. We never see ourselves accurately. It takes people challenging our assessment of ourselves, along with the work of the Holy Spirit, for us to grow to be more like Christ. This is one of those golden opportunities for the leadership of SGM, I hope they can rise up and seize it!

  • 2Tim224

    Dear Rick,
    Thank you, thank you, thank you for your recent timely and well-spoken article, such a balanced call for truth AND grace! This was helpful to me in getting my own mind around this stuff, putting my own swirling confusion into words that make sense, reorienting to first things first, clarity, and HOPE. We still don’t know that we can remain in our SGM church, we are pretty sure the wagon here is hitched pretty securely to the new SGM in Louiville (not listening well, leaving town with many unresolved conflicts) rather than to the old SGM (walking in humility, trying to live consistently with what has been taught over the years) that we remain aligned with, but only the Lord knows for sure what He is up to…..it must be grand when you consider all that is going on!

  • http://www.RickThomas.Net Rick Thomas

    I rejoice with you, Ann. What you describe is the way things ought to be. I also validate your story since most of my readers would not know we served side by side–along with your hubby, of course, in the same church.

    You have been my most often illustrated care group member. (That’s a compliment, btw.) When I think of you guys, nothing but smiles come to mind.

    The other side of the coin is this saddens me too. “Abusive pastors” are two words that should never go together. It’s a horrible thought. I know you guys pray. My appeal to you would be to pray for those who are hurting and need clarity on what to do.

    I’ve had the privilege over the past few years to walk with some of these hurting people and watch as God began to put their lives back together. My prayer is more will be able to find that help too.

  • Ann Casolaro Minard

    Wow Rick, this article saddens me. I am a part of SG and have a deep love for them, they are like my family and I have experienced so much love and care from them. When I was hurting they helped me so much and I never felt judged by them.

  • http://www.RickThomas.Net Rick Thomas

    Hey Dave, thanks for writing. Thanks also for caring about your church and the larger ministry you are part. You ask good questions. There are also layers to your questions because there are several layers to SGM.

    The two big layers are (1) the local church(es); (2) the para church org called SGM.

    Layer 1 – As to your last question on how to help the hurting, the answer for me is the content of this article. I’ll not restate that here. How that is pulled off will depend on any leader who decides to respond to this appeal and go to those they know who are hurting. A personal, face-to-face response/conversation would be the best thing to do, in my opinion.

    That has happened in some situations for sure–in some local churches. Yours would be one example–not exhaustively, but certainly in some situations. I praise God for this. It has been a mercy from the Lord that some pastors have repented of personal sin and sought reconciliation with those they have sinned against.

    Layer 2 – As to the AoR intervention, panels, and new boards? That’s another level. The impact of those things is minimal. As you know from a biblical perspective, the abuses committed were not the cause of a particular church government and a change in government won’t change human behavior if the people involved choose not to repent.

    Every org. in the world, religious or otherwise, has participated in abuse, whether mild or horrendous. We’re fallen people in a fallen world. Sin happens regardless of context or the type of oversight in place.

    It’s not about governance, but about fallen men making personal choices. SGM can change policies, governance, polity, boards, and practices, but that won’t change lives.

    In the fall we may switch back from a Democratic rule to a Republican rule. That will hardly change things unless the individuals within the system(s) repent. We may feel better about having Republicans in office, but it would be misplaced faith to think that matters a whole lot. I’m selfish now and I suspect if the Republicans takeover, I will continue to be selfish.

    It’s about personal responsibility, not just for an individual, but for a collection of individuals. While there have been personal repentance from certain individuals, as I have noted above, the systemic issues won’t change regardless of which form of government is in charge. Therefore, AoR, panel reviews, and new boards will have little effect on the church/real lives level.

    What will really matter, as far as a church member will be the pastors. And you have a good one, who is seeking to make changes.

    If you happen to know some of the sexual abuse victims or others who have experienced the darker side of this ministry, it would be good to ask them your questions. There are not only several different levels to this ministry, but there are two large groups: (1) Those who have been mistreated; (2) Those who have not.

    And just to restate part of the article: there is a lot to celebrate in SGM and I do. I hope that helps. I love you guys.

  • Dave Cooper

    I appreciate much of what you say. However, reading this makes it sound like that SGM has done nothing to address the concerns (no mention of the interim board, the panel interviews, the AoR assessment/report). What do you think needs to be done now to reach out to the hurting? I’m assuming you don’t find the AoR stuff helpful?

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